June 2011. results

-4 pips
-4 %

I guess I killed eventually all wiggle room for my stops. I even disabled viewing of active trades and orders on my charts so I can't see red stop line and drag it further on a chart.

Sore loser

Very often being in a loss kick start state of mind in which I can't stand the loss. One thing is reality of that trade and another is feeling that overwhelm me. So even a small loss is practically impossible to take when I feel like that. I believe that I will not advance one bit in trading if I don't solve it, go through it, handle it. That unpleasant feeling, I can't really name it exactly, of being loser or being in a loss, is so unpleasant for me that I do anything just to avoid it, run from it, negate it. It's emotion that I didn't properly "learn" so I'm not able to handle it. There is not any other solution then learning how to lose, accepting a loss. Currently that's out of my reach.

-40 pips

Tricky day

I was in mood for big moves, not really scalping oriented. So at first I went against market direction. I was marginally ahead after fifth trade so I made next one because there was slight possibility of stronger move based on it's force. It didn't proceed to highs but failed.

-4 pips

Quick one

It looked like something is going on, so it was worth to enter at whatever price because it could get very strong and shot up strongly. It stopped at previous highs instead of accelerate with taking out stops.

+15 pips

Vulnerability

I'm so vulnerable to my own emotional pitfalls that it's so hard to advance. It's so frustrating because in general my trading isn't that bad. Like today I had three stop loss exits in timely manner, except last trade. Then it's so irrational to stay in it from minute to minute. I all know it, and to be honest at those moments I really don't know what I want with that trade, when I'm in bigger then allowed loss. What do I want with that -50 pips trade I can't answer. Where is exit, where is cut loss?
It seems to me that those problems can't be easily corrected with some new rule. In the end I just don't follow it and I can't correct my own personality with rules. I guess that I have to first correct myself, whichever that means, then it will be reflected in my trading.
So I had +23 pips for a day before that last trade and my own personal meltdown.

-9 pips

Early bird catches the worm

First trade was regretful getting sucked in at worst level. Next trade and move woke up volatility. I scalped satisfactory, being very quick on exits that don't work in my favor.

As you can see I changed the rule about five trades a day. Not today in the middle of trading but before. It was negative stressful and I decided that I don't have to stick to it if things are working in my favor. When not, then five trades a day are still valid. Also that 15 pips max tp rule isn't that great for me. I have it set up automatically at that level when I enter the trade, but I will make it larger if necessary. I stayed with entering at 99% of margin available, it's good to remove focus from size that I use. Now when size is different on each trade it's kind of irelevant information for my psychological setup.

+35 pips

Making up trades

Sometimes I trade when I shouldn't trade at all. Then it's especially strong need to have every trade positive. When I make up trades without some price action that is indicating that there is a trade it's very hard for me to be disciplined. It's like when I start undisciplined it's harder than usual to exit it disciplined.

-7 pips

Eur/gbp

Sitting in a trade risking spikes against me and slowly losing patience. Getting out with nothing and then watch how idea finally play itself out. This position trading require nerves of steal.

+2 pips

Not exactly by the rules

I was widening my stops and take profit targets. Really regretful that on second trade after such support was created and I was aware of it I closed trade on first bump. Not really scalping, not really position trading. I need more trading wit.

+29 pips

Profitable day

Six pips seems little smallish but it was profitable day all within parameters of new rules. I had a spike against me on first trade and widening of spread to ten because of the news on last one. Following rules today felt better. Now five trades are over and I can't trade any more, grrrr. :)

+6 pips

Slot machine

I'm trading now like it's a slot machine. I even have five poker chips for five trades I'm allowed to use. So when I make a trade I put away one chip. This is also not a way to trade but I'm glad that I'm sticking to my rules. It's a bit unpleasant to have those rules and this trading is like some kind of unconscious revolt. My trades are the ones when I don't guess that I will make money on it but I have feeling that it's certain. Even then many times things came out different then expected. This shorting before the break is guessing, so I don't find it like something I want to trade. I guess that I will have to find my rhythm. Maybe it won't work but I rather do this then things that I done before.

-22 pips

Changes

-8 pips

Today wasn't really a situation for me to trade but I didn't trade for a long time and I wanted to start even for experimenting purposes.


I want to limit myself in a effective way. Previous problem of averaging that was my number one problem is solved by using whole margin. So averaging went away. If for some reason I start again to have more money in account than it's necessary for position averaging would be back in no time.
So I made few changes to address current problems. Changes that I can follow and not deviate. First of all I wanted to cut my exposure to market when I'm heat up. So I decided to allow myself only five trades a day. Previously I had experiment with one trade a day that wasn't success. With five trades I can trade but I'm omitted in doing twenty or more trades when I have a bad day. For some reason I believe that I can follow that rule even I couldn't follow rule of having max loss of -25 pips which was basically designed to do the same.

Second thing I'm lowering my take profit level to maximum of +15 pips. I'm not allowed to earn more on any trade then that. Why I chose to do it? Firstly when I have theoretically unlimited potential on any trade I'm prone to fantasize about big profits, that leads to big emotions, greed and who knows what. I abandon efficient scalping and drift in some dream land, then I do it in losing trades also. So I move stops because I can afford to lose -20 pips because of big profits that are awaiting around the corner, off course just in my mind. If big profits are impossible it would be much harder in my mind to justify big losing trades when they are in the making.

Third thing that I changed is nice little feature that Oanda allows me. That is I changed position sizing from fix round number to 99% of margin available. With that I address an issue that I have with changing size, it allays affect me in negative way. Now on my every trade size is different, so I hope I will detach from number of units that I trade.


My idea of where I want to be with my trading is in doing few good scalps in a day when I trade and nothing more. I want it to be stable and uniform, without oscillations in my strategy and expectations. Taking five to ten pips in a trade and having similar stops day in and day out.
Wish me luck in sticking to my rules.