May

Started the month optimistic and with few good days. Later bad days got out of hand. As usual when emotions kick in my daily stop limit was breached.

I'm seriously contemplating leaving behind scalping. On some days I'm able to turn profit, but very hard and rare. On bad days I can't contain bad behavior and lose so much more then I win on good days. The problem is that I'm little disinterested in other forms of trading, other time frames. So when I don't scalp I don't trade.


May 2.
+12 pips

May 3.
+7 pips

May 7.
+11 pips

May 8.
+10 pips
On my second trade I was slow at entry as I clicked it moved 3pips, so I got bad position. Third trade it would be better to take 3-4 pips and not wait. I was overall slow this morning in every sense.

May 9.
-26 pips
Anger level through the roof.

May 10.
+11 pips
Eur/jpy was main drive down, steady but firm, eur/usd couldn't resist down force. At least I saw it like that.

May 11.
+5 pips

May 14.
-3 pips

May 15.
+3 pips

May 16.
-48 pips
I can't stop

May 17.
-18 pips
I had profit of 8 pips and I should have stop trading at that. Let's say greed kicked in and then I traded poorly. 

Afternoon session
-13 pips
Impatient, just jumping in.

May 23.
-6 pips

May 2012. results

-55 pips
-20%

May longer term trades

Long this pair, daytrading decision based on market that was moving. Forty pips target and stop. So no real conviction about the trade. After my entry it stopped moving up, so I decided to abandon this idea at b/e.

Later pair hit target, but I'm not disappointed in my call. It was momentum based call based on my scalping thinking, probably not so effective for longer term plays. Too close stop to let it play around. 

Nzd/usd broke the range on daily. This is very late entry. Hundred pips R. Basing decision that this kind of break will have real follow thrue. Maybe it would be wiser to wait for some kind of setup for entry, not jump in just because I'm analyzing the market right now. Maybe 100 pips stop isn't enough if move test break level first.  
Decided to take profit at 0.6R

Longer term trades

First trade short of aud/usd after negative fundamental news. It's not ideal to open such trade pretty much late. I gave it big stop of 77 pips. Target was the same.  Three open trades were just because I was experimenting with sizing in relationship to stop. First stop was 100 pips, when I changed stop I took bigger size for a trade. Yellow mark is average.
That trade didn't really work from the start. I had nice push after being first in negative but then it reversed. I'm thinking that on such trades that from start don't really go in my direction I should take profit if later given in size that was previous negative move. But it's all fluid, I really don't know is that optimal. I didn't touch this trade, or reevaluate it. I just left it to do whatever. Maybe some trade management would be better to exit with smaller loss then full R.
-1R

Entry short immediately after the news, move before the trade was instant. Support held and it moved slowly toward the stop. I wouldn't do much different in this trade. I think that probability was more for down side. Stop and target were 100 pips. Maybe stop should have been lower because if it goes back to 160 resistance it's hardly weak. Maybe in this case stop of 70 and target 70-100.
-1R

Third trade short in eur/gbp.This trade was opened around the same time as previous short in gbp/usd. I didn't believe that previous down break in eur/gbp will so easily fail on gbp weakens. So I shorted with idea that it's now top of the range. It worked that way. When I checked that trade next day I found it not taking my take profit for just one pip, so I closed.

+0.9R

Fourth trade short eur/usd after Spain downgrade. I was early in the move. Two trades because I found out that I don't need 100 pips stop to invalidate my idea of down side. So I doubled the position because I only needed 50 pips R. At first I set up things that one take profit is at 1R and second at 2R. Later after move went in my direction I moved my stop down and widen the take profit. So for first trade it was at 3155 and move only went to 3160. It moved exactly 1R. After it rushed bit by bit back up (I was by the screen scalping) I was mad because of my greed. If I had 1R target all would be peachy. I didn't believe that it was full reversal, I expected some resistance at some point.

Basically it's very hard for me to decide what to do with the trade in between my stop and target. On smaller time frames it's different story from minute to minute and I can't judge clearly.

-0.75R

 

So those were my longer time trades. I don't know will I continue with it. This is only testing and treading water. It's interesting but I feel little bit new and clueless.

April 2012. results

-118 pips
-40 %

My trading with nano account  continues in similar fashion. It's now near to paper trading. So monetary it doesn't mean anything so results are easily that bad. Basically I'm just trying out ideas and looking  for style that will suit me.

I started trying out things on longer time frames on even smaller subaccount. This is like first time in my trading history that I made four separate longer term trades. It's nothing spectacular, I basically don't know how to behave on longer time frames but it's somehow interesting for me. On four trades I'm at -2R. More about them in next post. It could have been better, but I managed trades not so good.

Rest of the month

April 9.

-7 pips

April 10.
-20 pips
I stayed inside daily stop. Too much momentum seeking trades when there is no momentum. I'm used to trading like this and do it when it's not appropriate. But my first goal is to stop trading when my daily stop is hit, today I did that without resistance.
I believe that when I get to trust myself about daily stops that it will get me relaxed and open up to a whole new level of non anxious trading. Then results will follow. So first step is respecting daily stop. If I managed to get rid of widening my individual stops I can do this also.

April 12.

-16 pips
Sometimes I can say I don't have sightless idea of what I'm doing.

April 13.
+8 pips
Insane how much time for + or - 6 pips move.

April 16.
-19 pips
Losing machine.

April 18.
-6 pips

April 20.
- 12 pips

April 24.
+6 pips

April 25.
-29 pips

April 26.
+13 pips
Stupid to keep scalp stops in situation like this when I'm not scalping. Serious problem is mixing trading styles. 

April 27.
-25 pips
I'm getting angry because I don't take scalp profits. If I'm going against the trend for any reason and have some profit on hand I should simply take it. This is not scalping, nor daytrading.

Same old

-42 pips
Nothing has changed from the start of this blog. Same behavior. I can't say same mistakes because something that you do for years isn't a mistake. It's what I do, nature, habit.
I just continued my yesterday's day. Trading eur/jpy against the trend looking for some reversal for the sake of the idea. Like I'm a winner if reversal come's no matter how much I lose in the meantime. I know very early in the trading day that it's not good at all. Bu I don't stop. I literally enjoy in excitement. It's same excitement that you get ridding roller-coaster. I tried that for the first time few months ago in Las Vegas. You are scared and it's extremely uncomfortable but at the same time exciting. I took the ride eight or nine times in a row. You don't get that with good profitable trades. Being scared is missing. So I'm just thrill seeker pretending that I want to earn money, but instead I want first of all a thrill. I need to stay in denial and telling myself that I'm here because of the money, it wouldn't work otherwise. It's not untrue that I want money, who doesn't. But I can't resist my urges, I'm just following strong emotions.
After so many year I don't mind it that much. I'm used to it. I would also really like to progress beyond this. That's why I stay at trading. It's a challenge to change myself. Or I'm saying that to myself just to have my cheep thrill.

I have to add now after hour and a half when emotions are cooled off. Do you have thoughts after day like this I will not do it again, this is my last time, form now on I will do it differently? They are just part of the same equation.
I believe that's how they portray addicts.