Going with the trend

I'm not so proud that my healing come from trading that is borderline to bad trading that made my problems in the first place. Today initial trades needed average trades to give sense to all of it. If I stopped them when they were in a loss I would be in a deep hole. If I waited for them to turn my profit would be much smaller in relation to risk. Maybe the answer should be that I trade with half size in the first place, but then if things went in my direction immediately it would be too small profit. So that's why averaging is usual choice and somehow feel the best considering alternatives. Yes, it can burn me also but risk reward today is around 1:1 in this. The biggest problem is if I lose my head in the process and don't want to exit big loss with two trades on going against me.

Interesting thing to note is that I went over my scribbles and found a passage that I wrote just before my latest good run. There I said that my problem is trading with size too big for me to feel comfortable with it. This is then true for wins and losses. I cut my size after that and run about 50% on my account. Then I bumped up the size and immediately felt the pain. Well problems started two weeks ago when I started contemplating of a need to make my size bigger.
So now my size is back to old one. That doesn't mean that I will not have problems but I have to say that I felt pretty much ok today when I was in a loss. Day before loss made me panic. I don't know why are those subtle differences so big, but better for me to just accept it.

Also I would like to note that I'm grateful for learning to trade in the direction of the trend. As I stated before it was real problem for me in first couple of years when I started trading. I just couldn't pull the trigger in the direction of the trend, only opposite. Today trend saved me from my not so good entries and gave me profit without too much heat.

+55 pips

(smaller size pips, around 36 pips of the size day before. So it's not half of loss that is recovered but third)