May 2010. results

+253 pips

+25 %



Both good and bad trading this month. Result in the end is great but I had intraday drawdown that was bigger then that. Plan for future is again to increase size and deal with it. Also I have a plan on more active planing and managing my losing trades.

Gambling mode

Nothing new. Getting in when there is nothing going on, then refusing to take a loss. Still under strong impression from yesterday's trading. This was sole gbp strength, eur/usd wasn't cooperating on the up side so I was easily out of position that is so big and reasonably profitable. After getting out from big position that was in red and was made by averaging enormous pressure is off of me. So there is no possibility for me to jump in even thou market is beautiful.

This gambling mode is tiring whenever I'm in it.

+60 pips

Recklessness and arrogance

I don't feel anger or anything just pretty much numb right now. I had positive scalp and open profit on another position in gbp/usd which I let to go in a loss. I averaged, got b/e, didn't take it but let all go in a loss. Then of course I averaged again with double size with such arrogant belief how there will be retracement. That cost me 130 pips. After that I lost 70 pips more in next sequence.
I changed pair and direction and cut my loss to -45 pips trading eur/jpy with double size.

It's such a pity that I wreck month worth of profits in few minutes because I act arrogant when I know better. That is so ugly. But if I have that in me it will come out sooner or later. You can't hide anything in market and pretend that you have only virtues. Vices are there also.

In reality I can be happy that in the end I lost only this week's profits. This job simply doesn't allow trading mentally unprepared.


-45 pips

Half size day

All trades were half size. I didn't like the possibility of some strong reversal because trading were around lows and who knows what can happen this days so I kept size small. I'm pleased with my scalping, capturing more than 50 half size pips. I was open to even bigger moves but things didn't get wild.

+28 pips

Morning scalps

Eur/usd wasn't strong enough to push this move firmly up. Later it all dropped back in bearish direction below morning lows. I was watching but I wasn't trading. I still chose to limit my activity to as low as possible, especially when I'm profitable. Maybe it will change some day and I will be able to trade full session without so many thoughts where will day end regarding p&l. Or maybe I will stop thinking that I need to trade more and accept reality as it is.

+20 pips

Nice end to nice week

Experimenting with going in with half size and adding when it continues in my direction. Next will be leaving part of position to ride on. Second trade was also nice scalp, getting out sooner then price questions which way will it continue. For me nothing wrong with small profits, taking away opportunity to get emotionally pressured.

+18 pips

Thursday

I'm satisfied with how I traded today. Looking for small wins when I had idea. I also like how I managed second trade with size. It was half size trade and I wasn't nervous because of the size when it first went against me. Also great that I took profit on position when I did, not waiting for more only because it's smaller sized trade. Third was probably the best in my assessment. I noticed the change in behavior and took small scalp when try for up materialized. Finally fourth trade wasn't good, I run out of ideas and started imagining them. Fading the move there first wasn't reasonable, second I was late in entry. I closed it because it was to much risk for limited reward. It's also true that I was hesitant and didn't close it in a loss but waited for profit even though I didn't like it from the start.

+18 pips

Wednesday

Everything looks toxic and scary. I was a bit adventurous so I traded gbp/jpy with half size. I caught nice swing. Great thing that my scalping side took profit because it moved all the way back quickly.
Later trading wasn't so clever. I jumped in recklessly but already accepted winning day so I didn't want to cut loss on a trade and make my winnings smaller. It's all in psychology. So I averaged and was just lucky enough with full position in that pair to make some profit.

+35 pips

Little things make a big difference

I want to talk about how I need to loosen up. Looking at my trading advice would be to constrain. On the contrary my trading is like this because I'm not at ease. It's too hard for me to close bad positions or to reenter, so I don't do any of two. I average. All because I don't like small realized losses. Having -5, -5, -5 +30 for me is emotional horror.

First eur/usd position didn't work from the start and I didn't close it quickly, which is bad because it was at point where it will move significantly up or down. To new high or decisively lower. I averaged and ride two positions in to the news. I can blame cold that I have for such irresponsible behavior. Ok, after the news price went my way and with green line is marked my break even point. I'm up 20 pips and it's failing up there to test old high and I let it slide all the way down. First it's stupid to act like I now have to trade with two positions and second would it kill me to take profit and reenter if it goes further up. I'm afraid that I wouldn't have courage to open again one position and no chance for two once I close. So I'm greedy and leave them open. When I have break even again at 11:20 there is no chance that I would take it out. Now I need big profit on it.
From that point little free fall and average into oblivion. Having open loss of 120+ pips on those four positions. That's how you risk it all. Having all margin used up every 15 pips additional 5% down. At that point you are at mercy of price movement. Risk is so big, close position is mission impossible psychologically. Usually if I ride it to b/e I will close it there because I'm all drained from emotional roller coaster.

All this because I don't have habit of closing position with small loss or reentering if price goes in my direction. Because I know that I will not do any of those things I do what I have done today. I really need to make myself learn those not so major things. If I do change in my trading (risk) can be major.

+30 pips

Under the weather

I have some mild cold symptoms and I feel funny so I didn't want to push today. I was watching the markets in the morning but I didn't find it interesting. It was moving but in swinging kind of way, better for 5min time frame.

I captured the chart of few intentions to trade which were 100% wrong. Whichever direction I thought market will go it went other way immediately.

Finally after tics there was some movement. First I just watched and felt frustrated because I wasn't participating. I got second chance and in two minutes captured nice 30 pips move but with half size.

+15 pips

FLOORED

Long expected documentary about Chicago floor traders from director James Allen Smith is available online. You can watch it online in eight episodes.

Friday

I had bias this morning, again that it can't go lower so easily. It did surprise me that 1.2500 level on eur/usd was breached. Luckily gbp/usd was more stable then eur/usd so it defended 540 support and based there.

I want to mention one flaw that I noticed in my approach today. I was adding new positions on marginally lower prices. I don't get much leverage from trades averaged that way in a sense that it doesn't give me better price. So basically I'm just getting my position and my risk bigger. I have a feel where to average so I do it on those places but in this flat range after I add second position it would be much wiser to take it of when it has scalp profit. I marked 1. and 2. on chart where I could close second position with some decent profit. Also 3. for third position.
What if at 10:27 when it reversed shortly price made new low? It would be much better at that situation that I have only one position and that I took several profits before. First one can always stay to catch reversal that I'm looking for.


+38 pips


(Trades were half size)

Thursday

Day started slow and later it turned in big trend down. My buying at the bottom was because I didn't believe there will be no reaction around 2600. On the other hand who am I to stand against the price trend if it's the case of long term trend down continuing right now. So I took profits when I had them.
It wasn't so obvious from the start that move will be this strong. It's holiday in part of EU and price was moving slowly. It was more like some kind of retracement.

+29 pips

Nice day but it could be nicer

It's a good day but I poorly managed my gbp/usd trades. Got shaken out just from one of positions seconds before it jumped up. Then I opened another long 10 pips higher but it was hesitating so I closed it all.
In eur/usd I was trading with half size because I was going against a trend and was ready to average. Later it turned in 50+ pips swing but I'm not that good at holding positions.

Plenty of opportunity for me to get better on profit taking part of trading.

+32 pips

I'm better at blogging then at trading

I'm sick of my roller coaster rides of mine p&l. Down 20 pips, down 60 pips, up 60 pips to finish where I started. Or it could be down 120 pips if market changed direction like it did after my last exit. I move like an old lady with riding losses and averaging, market is just flying around. This is so no good. I don't think that reducing size would do much good either, it would be little bit easier but again plenty of averaging to fix things and that means just more risk.
I need to commit to stops before I enter trades and enter only those trades where I'm committed that I will exit humbly when I'm stopped.

My first loss with red dot was there just because I was slow enough in moving stop. I was in process of moving it up when it got hit. Then I reopened, and guess what I doubled size 90 seconds later to get stopped out again. It's just gambling it can't be called trading. Well at least on my last trade with 3X size on I was thinking properly in a sense what is market doing. It was also emotional trade to get back losses and to my amazement I did. Who knows where would I get out of that trade if it went south. Yeah, I forget to mention that on my first trade I had two times 10sec window of opportunity to take 8 and 10 pips. Maybe less then 10 sec, but it was there.
It's ringing in my head that before I would gladly grab that kind of profit just because I have opportunity. Maybe there is more wisdom in that then I trust there is. That's my kind of scalping, looking for more bring me exact problems like today. I'm just too emotional to handle bigger swings in whatever direction. I would like to grab forexbird kind of profits but I'm not prepared for his kind of stops. I can commit to small stops only when I'm looking for small gains. Then I believe that it's not good strategy. Knowing me that got to carry out that trading what is? I don't have on disposal better trader so I need to do things that are limited to my limited capacity. Maybe progress is made to small losses big wins only when you get small loss small wins as your second nature.

+1 pip

Half size

I feel that I was trading poorly today. I missed some early moves and I was watching and feeling fear of fast moving market after 10:00 3050 break out. In the end I was profitable.

+26 pips

Forces of nature

If it isn't tragic it would be comic

I don't know what's there in human psychology to play out like this. Inability to just follow the price on a day like this is crazy. As you can see my first trade was in good direction but I closed it after 3 pips or so. Then I somehow started to chase opposite direction in eur/jpy. Crazy 100%. When I'm in to it there isn't easy out.
I'm glad and it is mini victory that I didn't go for break even but I settled for reasonable loss. Minutes before I was 120-130 pips in red for a day with 60 lost in first set and too early entry in second.
I experienced all of this before, it's nothing new but it always surprise me. I'm talking about my actions, fighting strongest trend and just making open loss larger by not closing the trades. Why am I not closing them? Because loss is too big, and by that I'm getting loss even bigger.
It's a shame that I didn't make money today. I don't feel anger just a slim hope to lose this kind of behavior in a following occasions.


-26 pips





I believe that it all can be summarized in not following my own trading structure. I forget that I'm scalping and I look too much for what is going on at the bigger time frames. Maybe I even abandon scalping because I expect to make much more with other ways of trading. It's just my mind playing tricks on me. It's like I feel I'm not supposed to scalp at all and that trading is in big swings. Especially in volatile market with big swings scalping is like something inferior. So I start to think and second guess a lot because "it can't be that easy" and just follow the price.

Better

Better trading but plenty of potential left on the table. On that eur/usd average trade I was really testing myself will I close on time if it goes against me, almost that I wanted for it to go in a loss.

+24 pips

Burned

Such bad trading, unpreparedness and disrespect for risk. Awful. Instead of stop I add position with a thought if it goes any further I close both. It went further, again I open another short and think that if it goes any further I will close it all. Slow day with UK holiday and me doing stupid things in a day that's far from ideal for my kind of trading. I could close first two position with a small loss. No. Now I have ten times bigger one. After it I open revenge trade in eur/jpy and lose some more.
Irony is in a fact that I opened first trade as a scalp to see will it go my way, when it didn't instead of closing it I did all of this. So stupid, knowing that I'm doing a mistake with each tick against me and refusing to trade properly.
Well averaging can't save me every time, sometimes it burn me, than I can see how problematic is getting used to trading like that.

After I wrote post I had another trade in gbp/usd with 3x size, luckily positive one so I cut my loss from -76 to -50 pips. I can't say that it's a good trading because I'm to emotional for trading now.

-50 pips